This is my first in the series of my 25 Do's and Don't for Facebook. It was popular among my readers on Facebook so I kept going. I am now at Volume 4 which I totally forgot to share. So, in order to re-cap before sharing volume 4, here you are. Hope you laugh out loud. Enjoy!
1. Don’t be poking me when you know I don’t know you and you are not on my friend’s list.
2. If we haven’t been in touch for five years or more and I accept your friend request, don’t just sit there. Poke me, write on my wall or inbox me so that we can start the reconnection! Lurking around my page for a year without one comment is not reconnection. It’s called creepiness!
3. And if you know I accepted you because we have common friends, go ahead and break the ice. Say something. I don’t bite!
4. You have been on Facebook for two years and you still have no profile picture. You suck! Post a picture!
5. Talking about pictures, once in a while, you too share some photos. You know you are logging on every five minutes to see if someone has posted an album. This year, it’s your turn to make Facebook interesting for someone else. I challenge you to post an album.
6. If you start chatting me up and I haven’t responded after five minutes, you should know I don’t want to talk to you. Give it up already!
7. Facebook is a social networking site, not a boxing ring so cut out the sarcastic and bickering status updates. They are a drain!
8. If you don’t have a positive comment to make about someone’s status or photo, shut up and keep your comment to yourself. We don’t need to hear your sour mouth.
9. Once in a while, you too comment on someone’s status, photo or link. You have been at the receiving end for too long.
10. You have had the same profile picture for over a year. This is 2010. Uploading a new profile picture is not rocket science. Get going!
11. If someone is on your friends list and it’s their b’day, wish them a happy b’day on their wall. It’s a nice thing to do.
12. Overusing the short-hand to write your status updates makes them difficult to read. Stop the laziness and spell out the three-letter words!
13. If you constantly have ten typing errors in your status updates, they no longer qualify as “errors.” You need English grammar lessons before you are allowed any more status updates!
14. If your virtual card, flowers and gifts require me to launch another application, stop and think very hard about what you are about to do before you hit that “share” button. You didn’t like it when someone made you launch that application in order to accept your flowers. Don’t do it to me!
15. Stop posting ten links a day to unrecognizable websites. No one reads them!
16. Let’s see some variety in your status updates this year. We’ve heard enough about your kids, your dog, your cat and the people you cannot stand!
17. If you poke me and I poke you back, give it a rest for at least a week before you poke me again!
18. If I post a photo and you like it, show it. You don’t have to make a comment. It only takes a second to click “like.”
19. Review your friendship request list and “accept’ or “ignore.” It’s that simple! Don’t leave people hanging on to the hope that maybe one day, you’ll accept their request. Ignore them already and let them start the “healing” process.
20. Don’t go begging for your friends’ passwords so you can look at my pictures. If I wanted you to see my pictures, I would have accepted your friend request!
21. If you haven’t laughed at this list so far, you are either not a Facebooker or you are incapable of taking a joke. You are therefore being sent to Mark Zukerberg and the Facebook Membership Re-evaluation Committee.
22. If someone makes a comment about something you posted, respond to their comment, it’s the polite thing to do!
23. Stop clicking the refresh or “home” button EVERY minute to see the newest activity in the “Live Feed.” Your mouse is begging for a break!
24. It’s OK to get up and go to bed when your forehead starts doing the typing for you at 2:00 am. Facebook will be there in the morning when you wake up!
25. You are addicted to Facebook as I am so stop talking bad about the Facebook addicts. You have no profile picture, have never posted a comment, link, album, etc. and yet you are always logged on feasting your eyes! What does that make you, huhn? Yeah, I thought so!
© Mame Saah 2010
Welcome to Osaah's Pen! A blog by Mame Saah. Here's your one-stop shop for the funnies, the current, the gossip and the oh-lah-lah! My pen and I hope to get a chuckle out of you during your visit. Happy Reading and do leave us a comment!
Nice read Saah, You always amaze me as to where your inspiration comes from. Think you should take up journalism full time!!
ReplyDeleteAwww thanks, Mildred! Writing is my passion. We'll see what happens. Thanks for the push. LOL!
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