Terms of Endearment Gone Wrong: Twenty Responses to the Guy that Makes You Want to Cringe (Written by Mame Saah)

Ladies have you ever had the wrong guy call you with a term of endearment that makes you want to cringe? Yeah, I’m sure you have. Guys, sorry but we are putting you on the chopping board today. Don’t get us wrong, we like it when these terms are used by the “right” people aka husbands, boyfriends, crushes and hot guys. But, if you know there’s no way on this planet that we are going to be romantically linked with you, please desist from using the following terms of endearment when referring to us. Please spare yourself a lot of embarrassment and use our birth names thank you very much. Yeah, ladies, as I was saying, if he calls you by a term of endearment that makes you want to cringe and you find yourself fumbling for words, here’s to helping you out with the following twenty. Its all fun and games, guys, so hope you LOL!


1. Sweetheart- My “sweet” heart just hardened and went sour the moment I heard you call me sweetheart.

2. Honey- Yeah, I sting like a bee. Wait till I sting you and see if “honey” is what will come out of your mouth.

3. Dear- The last time I checked, I didn’t have antlers and I was not hopping across the park. Get it together!

4. Darling- If there’s no animal called “darl” then darling does not exist. Don’t even think about calling me a nonexistent baby animal name!

5. Baby- Unless you see a diaper on my bottom and a pacifier in my mouth, please cease and desist from calling me “baby!”

6. Boo- I’m not scared of ghosts. If you are dead, stay dead and stop walking amongst us, “booing” people!

7. Sugar- Do I look like a walking condiment? If you lost your way to convenience store please retrace your steps and stop confusing yourself!

8. Pumpkin- If you want to turn into a pumpkin yourself, keep calling me pumpkin!

9. Sweetie Pie- Just watch, you’ll soon be calling me “tart”. Yeah, I’m good at playing opposites!

10. Love- Ma-a-a-a-n, you can’t even spell “love.” Move over!

11. My African Queen- You’ve got that right. I’m a queen and you are a subject. We don’t go together!

12. Angel- You want to borrow my wings and fly off for good?

13. Beautiful- Yep, my beauty is full. There’s no room for ya!

14. Doll- The fact that you have a fetish for dolls doesn’t mean every walking female is a doll. Book an appointment with your psychiatrist already!

15. Cutie Patutie- Define “cutie patutie!” Yeah, I thought so!

16. Girl- Do you see any ribbons and bows in my hair?

17. Gorgeous- It’s taken me more than three minutes to figure out that this is the word you are trying to pronounce, you should not be using it as a pick up word, mister! Adios!

18. Pookie- That’s what you should be naming your dog, not me.

19. Sexy- Last I heard, you could not perform part of this word. Why do you even bother? Say your permanent good-bye to your friend under your belt buckle and forget about it!

20. Sunshine- Quick, get an umbrella! It’s about to rain rejection on your sorry self! Ain’t no sunshine in this place!