Learning American English 101 (Written by Mame Saah)

If you are an immigrant in America from a country that was a former British colony, you must have faced many culture shocks when you first arrived but I’m sure you will agree with me that none proved to be more of a shock than realizing that no, Americans do not understand the English that you think you know and speak so well. Why, because some of the words you use are alien to them. They think you are using words in the wrong context and need English lessons. Your college professors have made one too many corrections in your assignments after scratching their heads trying to figure out what in the world you mean by the words you are using! Americans who have befriended or worked with you have had simple conversations become complex due to these alien words. You on the other hand, out of frustration, have asked yourself many times, “Are we not speaking the same language? Is it not English that Americans speak?” You thump your fist on your chest insisting that you speak the Queen’s English. In your opinion, Americans are the ones that need English lessons. Well, permit me to announce to you, if you have not realized it yet, that yes, Americans use different words from many of the English words you know. Learn them now and let’s end this “war of the words.” Those of you who are yet to migrate to this land, here is your first course, “Learning American English 101.” Hope you LOL while you acquire some knowledge.


1. Lift- The next time you are looking for the equipment that can get you to the top floor of a high-rise building, please ask for the Elevator before someone looks at you weird that you trying to tell them to carry you up the building.

2. Boot- If you don’t want your American friend looking for your “shoe” the next time you ask them to place an item in your boot, please kindly say Trunk. Yes, it’s not the elephant’s long “nose”, it’s the space at the back of your car.

3. Toffee- I know, the last time you mentioned “Candy,” you were calling your girlfriend. But when your co-worker says thank you for the Candy, he means the toffee, not your girlfriend.

4. Handbag- If your American date asks you for a Purse for her birthday, don’t go buying some small wallet. She means a big old handbag. Yep, they call handbags, purses.

5. Purse- You heard me, what you know as purse (for women) is what Americans call wallet. Confusing, I know!

6. Trousers- Please avoid major embarrassment if the dress code for your friend’s party involves Pants. He means trousers, not your dross!

7. Pants- By now you should have figured out that what you know as pants, is not the same thing Americans know as pants. Say Underwear, the next time you want to say pants. Let’ not complicate matters for our dear Americans.

8.Afro Comb- If you don’t want to be the laughing stock at the hair salon, the next time you want an afro comb, kindly ask for the Pick. Trust me, they will bring you the beloved comb and not a small stick for your teeth.

9. Cream- Please kindly say Lotion before the store clerk directs you to the milk, cheese and butter aisle at Wal-Mart.

10. Lorry- And guys, if you don’t want your American friends to start worrying about you that your are now giving vehicles female names like “Laurie,” kindly use the word Truck the next time you see a lorry.

11. Rubbish- Before you have your boss thinking you are insulting him, next time say “that is Trash” not “that is rubbish” if he asks you about those items on your desk you plan to throw away.

12. Mineral- Please tell them you want to drink another can of Soda before they check you in the psych ward for attempted suicide.

13. Hair Clips- The next time your friend asks you to buy Barrettes for her daughter, please don’t head to the military store for a soldier’s cap. She means the decorative colorful clips for her daughter’s hair.

14. Stockings- Hmm, we don’t know why they call it Pantyhose when the thing is supporting two full legs. Let’s just go along with it. They might think you are a thief if you tell them you have to put on your stockings for your job at the bank.

15. Fridge- I don’t know why they prefer the long unpronounceable word but for the sake of peace, make a big effort and say R-E-F-R-I-G-E-R-A-T-O-R.

16. Chain- If you don’t want imaginations running wild, please say Necklace, next time you innocently tell a friend how you fell asleep with your chain on. Hmm!

17. Tin- This is one of those matter-of-fact cases. Tin is equal to Can in America, case closed!

18. Okro- Oh, changing one little vowel makes such a big difference! Yep, Okra it is! They will think your are having major accent issues if you say “okro.”

19. Wardrobe- Americans often use wardrobe in reference to your clothes, not the structure in which you put your clothes. The magic word here is Closet. I know, beats my imagination too!

20. Cupboard- Says American to British, “It’s not a board on which you sit a cup. We like the word Cabinet so that’s what we’ll call it! Take it or leave it!”

21. Duvet- American: Huhn? Why must you complicate matters? Du what??? If it comforts you, what do you call it?

British: Comforter!

American: Exactly!

22. Napkin- Americans cannot bring themselves to use the same word for the item used to wipe the mouth when the food goes in, and cover the bottom for when the food comes out. So, Diaper it is!

23. Dummy- American: There you go again. If it pacifies the baby, what’s the simplest word to call it?

British: Pacifier

American: Exactly! You are learning real fast!

24. Biscuit- What they call biscuit here looks like bread, tart or rock buns. What you know as biscuit, is called Cookie in America. Why? Because they can!

25. Cutlery- The last time I checked, neither a fork nor a spoon was flat so I don’t know what they were thinking when they chose Flatware. Your turn to ask the American, “If it can cut through food, what do you think is the better word, Cutlery or Flatware???

26. Bonnet- You are not the only confused person. I also thought Hood was the slang word for neighborhood. Go figure! Anyhoo, please don’t get a panic attack when your friend suggests you pop the hood. He means open the bonnet of your car, not shoot the neighborhood!

27. Polythene/Rubber Bag- They call it Plastic Bag here. I know, it has no resemblance to the hard rubber called plastic but that’s what they choose to call it so please get it right once and for all.

28. Pear- What you know as pear is called Avocado by Americans. Their pear is a fruit, not a vegetable. I know, you thought it would be so easy to adjust ’cause you speak the same language. Ha!

29. Carpet- In your native country, a rug is that piece of cloth used to clean the floor or around the house but n-o-o-o-o-o Americans had to complicate matters again and use Rug synonymously with carpet. Sigh!

30. Congratulations on finishing your first course in learning American English. We wish you the best of luck in your Assimilation!