Thirty Reasons Why You Need a Serious Beat Down (Written by Mame Saah)

1. You’ve used a computer for more than five years and still type with two fingers.

2. You’ve had a cell phone for more than five years and still can’t type a combination of upper case and lower case letters in your text messages.

3. Neither can you use punctuations in your texts.

4. You’ve had the same cell phone for more than three years.

5. The thought of making a three-way call gives you palpitations because you have no idea how to go about it.

6. You’ve been driving for more than five years and you don’t know how to change a tire.

7. Neither do you know where to put the oil in your engine.

8. You have a driver’s license but don’t know how to parallel-park.

9. Neither can you drive in reverse more than five feet.

10. You don’t know the words to the national anthem of your native country. Neither can you recite the national pledge.

11. The only president whose name you know is the president of the United States.

12. You have no idea who your governor is.

13. Neither do you know the capital city of your state.

14. You are married and can’t boil an egg for nothing!

15. You’ve been married for more than three years and still get your anniversary date wrong.

16. Worse still, you still can’t get your wife’s birthday right.

17. You have a college degree and still refer to Africa as a country.

18. You seem to have this idea that all Africans know each other.

19. You have a college degree and can’t spell for nothing. You show signs of having a nervous breakdown when the program you are using to type a message does not have a spell check feature.

20. Without a calculator, you are a “D” student at Math.

21. Twelve times twelve is rocket science to you.

22. You’ve had a checking account for more than five years and still cannot balance your checkbook/account.

23. You cast insinuations at the banks for charging you multiple NSF fees (for transactions made when you knew you could be overdrawing your account) as if the existence of NSF fees just fell out of the skies!

24. You’ve dinned out multiple times and still can’t figure out if the fork goes to the left hand and knife to the right or vice versa.

25. And you start sweating buckets if more than one fork and/or spoon is included in the place setting at a dinner event.

26. You are a woman over 30 years of age and have never had an appointment with a gynecologist!

27. You have been watching TV for more than ten years and still have no idea how to work your TV remote control beside the power on/power off buttons.

28. You are younger than 50 years old and till today do not have an e-mail address.

29. A shortage of gas in your car has left you stranded multiple times on the road yet you still wait till the gas tank light has flashed its last before refueling!

30. You are guilty of more than half of the above 29! You need a serious BEAT DOWN! LOL! LOL!

A Little Break

To our readers and fans: Apologies for the mini break in June. We have been super busy. We will be back shortly to to entertain you with new LOL articles and updates to our blog. In the meantime, enjoy the old posts on the page. Mad love to you all!